Depression: Keep Me in My Right Mind

Welcome to Real Life. A friend of mine had a mother who suffered from mental illness.  She was raised by her grandmother.  Fearing her mother’s malady, she would pray, “Lord, keep me in my right mind.”

I began praying my friend’s prayer after the birth of my second child. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn't eat. I couldn’t untie the knot in my stomach. I had postpartum depression, but didn’t know it. After all I was anxious, not depressed.[2]  Though, my anxiety soon grew into depression. I once considered myself a hopeless optimist. Now, I just felt hopeless. What was happening to me?  And why was God allowing it to happen?  I was slowly losing control of my thoughts and emotions and it terrified me. Yet, I resisted seeing a psychiatrist. Wouldn’t that just confirm I was crazy?  What if he had me committed or put me through shock therapy? Scenes from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest haunted me.

With the stigma surrounding mental illness, I was afraid to expose my inner turmoil. Twenty years ago no one talked about depression, especially in the church.  I once asked a friend for prayer at Wednesday morning Bible study. She told me that if I just trusted God enough, I’d be okay.  But, I was trusting God with all my strength and I wasn’t okay. So at choir practice when Carol asked how I was feeling, I answered, “Fine.”  

However, she cared enough to inquire further, “Are you really fine?”  
My confession spilled out, “No. I can barely function …” 
She handed me her sister’s number. “Call Stevie. She can help. She understands depression.”

I called Stevie the next day. This beautiful woman told me of her own battles with anxiety and depression. She survived unscathed. For the first time in months, I felt a glimmer of hope. Stevie’s mission was to comfort others with the comfort she had received from God.[3] I followed her wise advice: Visit a psychiatrist. They specialize in treating mental disorders and can prescribe the correct medication. Then, once you’re thinking clearly, see a Christian counselor to explore other factors which may have contributed to your depression.

I visited a psychiatrist. He prescribed an antidepressant. Within six months, I was back to my old self. I then sought Christian counseling. In the process, I gained a deeper understanding of myself and my Lord.

Still over the next 20 years, I experienced three more bouts of clinical depression. I’ve discovered many reasons why God has allowed it. Perhaps the most important is the way I view myself. I once considered myself a strong Christian woman. I had it all together. Like my friend at Bible study, I thought others who were struggling lacked faith. The thing about mental illness is that it’s incredibly humbling. It’s helped me see the reality of my own weakness and the need to rely on God’s strength. Like Paul, I’m learning to glory in my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on me.[4]

I am not alone in battling depression. One in ten Americans will suffer from it this year.[5] People of faith are not exempt. The prophet Elijah, Martin Luther, Charles H. Spurgeon, Sheila Walsh, King David, Thomas Nelson, and even comedian Chonda Pierce have suffered from major depressions.

Are you seriously depressed?  Pray.  Speak with a pastor, but don’t be afraid to speak with a doctor. It’s a medical issue. Hope, help, and healing are available.  You’re not alone.

Dearest Jesus, meet us in our emotional pain. Pour out your grace, peace, and healing on those who are suffering from depression. Direct their paths to healing. Amen.

Take it further…

[1] 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV
[2] I later learned that anxiety is a form of depression.
[3] 2 Corinthians 1:3-7
[4] 2 Corinthians 12:9
[5] Depression statistic.
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  1. Good blog. I really look forward to reading them

    1. Thanks, Nina! I appreciate you taking the time to read it and comment. :)

  2. Thank you for this, Peggi. Like Luther, I am a melancholic by nature. I have been deeply depressed several times, even suicidal. My pastor helped me through the worst one by doing exactly what Stevie suggested and then he introduced me to an elderly woman who had just gotten out of the hospital where she had almost died. She and I became dear friends and I saw her every week. She gave me something to look forward to. My daughter has the attitude that it's a lack of faith and doesn't believe in medicating depression. But, she is young and has never been depressed. I hope she never learns about depression personally but I also hope she learns to have more compassion for those who do. This is a post that all Christians should read.

  3. Thanks, Linneann. I so appreciate your comments. You are blessed to have such a supportive pastor. My current church family is very supportive of people who are struggling, whatever their issue. Someone said about our church, "it's a place where it's okay to be not okay."
    Your daughter is blessed to have YOU for a mom. She's young. I'm sure she'll grow in compassion like we all have.
    A slightly older woman at my church is bi-polar and she's a powerful prayer warrior. She is one of my mentors (and heroes).
    Thanks again!


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